hearts set on fire...

theres no place that his love can't reach, theres no place that we can't find peace…. do you believe that there is "NO PLACE" that His love can't reach? what do you do everyday to show the world, show the lost that he reaches in the ugly. the raw and broken moments. that love brings peace, joy and sometimes sorrow but ultimately the perfect picture of Jesus. To LOVE like Jesus and to hold onto His description of that love. To hold onto the model that he so perfectly set forth when he walked the earth.
What "resurrects" you everyday. What wakes you from the coma of this culture? Is His love enough? Is His call enough? Are His promises enough? Some days I don't think they are enough. Some days I just want to drive the "right" car, look the "right" way, talk about the weather, the "horrible" day I had that housecleaner didn't show and I have a houseful coming…. What wakes you from the coma of this culture? Are you holding onto the Lord and the promises of ultimate love through EVERYTHING and especially the ugly, the broken and uncomfortable? As I watch, support, pray and walk through the fire with a  close friend who lost her husband to suicide at the ripe old age of 32. A 32 year old widow with a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old…. there's NO place that your love can't reach, theres no place that you won't bring peace? do you believe that? Because as you so calmly and flippantly walk this earth as if nothing is happening. As if there is no wage of war between light and dark, between truth and lies. Walk through the tragedies of life saying, "my gosh what a tragedy, how absolutely horrible" but yet do nothing to dig deeper and truly understand the truth that the Lord speaks about what it means to be overwhelmed with God's love through the storm… I feel bad for you not for my friend who just lost her husband because she is holding on and leaning onto a God who is mighty who is sovereign and who will bring "joy that will set our hearts on fire" and be filled with the power of the one who raised from the grave. She is an example of pain, turmoil and every reason according to our culture to be, well just be out of it and go out and be destructive and do whatever she "needed" to get through, but it takes more courage and faith to hold onto the one and only true  God who breathes into her life, love and living water to get through the day and to hold onto the promises that he will prosper her, despite her circumstances. If you are a "follower of Christ" and claim to believe in Jesus….. then what are you doing about it?

Halloween Fun!

Well I think after 3 halloween parties & 1 birthday party Emma Grace was over the madness of halloween weekend!.... so we spent halloween day & night fighting off throw up, fevers & going to bed at 6pm! But honestly overall we had a GREAT time and she had MANY chances to wear her costume (as a mommy I loved that part) So after Blake's halloween party, the harvest carnival and hosting one of our own with all her friends TinkerBell was WORN OUT!!:)

Hope everyone had a great weekend & a great halloween!... I can't believe it's November; yikes!!

why is this picture sideways??? no idea:):) BUT anyway it is a fun pic of all the kids (& parents) decorating caramel apples; so fun!

My poor baby so sick!! I had to take a picture; so cute:(

1st Snow Day!!

Truly enjoyed our 1st snow day!

Played outside, had hot chocolate, watched a movie and ended up having the best day....

Enjoy some pictures...

First real time playing in the snow!

Camera got foggy BUT she was SO proud of her 1st snowman:)


Mommy & Emma Grace day!

SO beautiful!

This pic is driving me crazy; can't get it the right way; sorry!

Her & Daisy running around

My sweet girl!

She was so excited to pose with her "friend" & her pumpkins:)

Yay.... Dentist!!

Emma Grace did FANTASTIC at her 1st dentist appointment!

I think I was more nervous than she was; LOL!

Practicing with baby opening wide before seeing dentist

LOVED Kayla the dental assistant she seriously ROCKED!!

Emma Grace getting ready for the chocolate flavored toothpaste!

Such a big girl; so proud of her!

I'm back!...

I know, I know it's October!:)

My life..... well in a nutshell..... it's complicated, difficult & overwhelming; so there you go there's my excuse as to where I've been the last 2 1/2 months. The Lord definitely has me in a season of change and more than anything I just rely on Him to carry me through everyday!; So with that said I'm just going to jump in as if I haven't missed a day:)....

Today we had an amazing MOPS playdate at a pumpkin patch! It was the perfect fall morning; cold, crisp, sunny & beautiful. We had an amazing turnout and Emma Grace had a blast and to be honest so did I:). I had a great time chatting with friends, watching her run around and I loved watching her interact with all the animals there; so great!

So thank you Lord for days like today!

This is a picture of Emma Grace (on the right:) & her BFF Hayley! So cute we almost died!

Pictures from Vail

Vail

Headed to Vail for some much needed time away....
I will definitely take some pictures of our gorgeous digs.
So excited to sit on the patio, read a book and enjoy the sound of the river!!
Yay for relaxing!!
Enjoy your holiday weekend; be safe & have fun!

feeling beautiful...

First wanted to say I'm so sorry if my posts have been cryptic or confusing. I honestly have just been writing from my heart & broken spirit lately and without going into gorry detail have just let God's word or songs do the talking. I'm continuing to strive to be authentic during this and again feel moments of pure Godly joy in the midst of a rough season. The friendships and support that God has put in my life are unexplainable and perfect! Just wanted to share this song with you. Everytime I hear it I cry; because at a time where I'm again feeling broken it's great to hear but also great to remember to look at ourselves like God sees us but also think of other people that I know are hurting deeply and there is a part in the song where it says something like "praying that you'd have the heart to fight, you are more than what is hurting you tonight, for all the lies you've held inside so long they are nothing in the shadow of the cross; you're beautiful, you're beautiful you are made for so much more than all of this, you're beautiful, you're beautiful; you are treasured, you are sacred you are His!" I mean seriously who wouldn't want to hear that when you're feeling broken... or ever??!! God is amazing!

click here & listen;

it's amazing and I promise that if you let it sing to you it will put a smile on your face:) Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WnAq0o2Xl8

As the title says;.... I am feeling beautiful!:)

Strong enough

My heart

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?...
I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow... psalm 6: 2, 3, 6 & 7

Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me, Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O lord, the God of truth.
Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. psalm 31: 2-5 & 9

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. psalm 34:17 & 18

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation he is my fortress, I will never be shaken! psalm 62: 1&2

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my savation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge, Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. psalm 62: 5-8

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. psalm 94:19

I Don't have the words to write about what's going on or where I'm at so I took some verses from my quiet time this morning in hopes that they will convey my heart. Still asking for prayer for what looks like a storm that will not be ending any time soon. As I sit in despair I also rest comfortably in the arms of a God who is faithful, strong & who loves me unconditionally and I am certainly finding some hope & comfort in that!

prayer

Another tornado has hit this season of my life.

Please pray for me.

I need prayer for strength & courage.

I am feeling broken & exhausted.

Please pray for Emma Grace that she feels peace in the midst of this storm,

and that mommy is filled with the Lords strength & energy everyday.

Thanks all.

Joy

First off thanks everyone for just letting me know that you stopped by; I really appreciated that! Also of course for your continued prayers; I can't tell you how amazing it is to know that people are praying for you and love you enough to not have to know every gory detail but just trust that prayer will help; Thank You!!

JOY!

I think people always say they want to be "happy", but I don't know if that is truthfully realistic. In this world we face trials of many kinds; job loss, loss of loved ones, relationship strife, confusion, anger, etc.... I think it really is unrealistic to be "happy" all the time. BUT if we're talking about "joy" that is different in my opinion. I think pure joy comes only from the Lord. Only from His promises and ultimately His hope. At church they have been preaching on "Out of the Ashes", finding hope in/through suffering!(ps thank you Lord for speaking directly to me:):)

and there is something to be said about this incredible amount of pure "JOY" I feel even in the midst of trials. I read through my last post about this next chapter and it feels 100% true BUT the only thing that didn't come out of that post was my JOY & HOPE that God continues to fill me with as I continuously go to him! "In the midst" there are alot of really cool things happening as well...

* A while ago I mentioned in one of my posts that there might be some "fun" new ministry opportunities coming up?..... well there definitely were or I mean are....

1. I am the new MOPS coordinator at our church! Yay:):)

They asked me back in March I think and I was pretty taken aback that the Lord would put my name on their hearts to ask because of where I am and how broken I felt at the time. But I'm telling you it was the most AMAZING prayerful journey I have ever been on! I mean if you ever want the Lord to speak to you just completely surrender the question to him and WOW he just met me where I was every single time and just poured into me through his word that it is NOT by my own strength that I would be taking on this role it is through HIS STRENGTH! and honestly a bit broken, frightened and weak is exactly where he wanted me going into this leadership position because now the words I say are His! the actions I posses are His! and the strength to keep it all going is His! and what a ministry initself that is!!! so I'm super excited abou that!

2. I have joined High School ministry staff!

Now it's not like I'm running anything or going crazy in that way just a volunteer who faithfully goes to youth group every week and conitinuously speaks into the lives of a group of incoming freshman girls! I LOVE IT!! I've missed it!

(and Sharri if you're reading this I came very close to calling you a few weeks ago on my way to my 1st youth group because I was having flashbacks of our time with Mariners Jr. High, thinking about ministering with you and was just missing you and getting excited to hang out with students again:)

*Also part of the transition from the 1st chapter to this chapter all of a sudden I forgot to take care of myself! Does anyone ever do that when you're in transition and you're not sure which way is up? You get so good at keeping everyting else afloat that you forget to take time for yourself.... so with that said; I (WE) decided to run in the Bolder Boulder 10K! Yay!!:) It was a HUGE accomplishment not just for me, not just for Chris but for us as a couple. It was sort of this symbolic thing; I can't quite explain it without droning on & on and boring you all, but basically it represented something that we have always wanted to do, always "never got around to doing" either out of fear or just lazy? who knows and also it represented something that we could do as individuals but also as a couple!

Ok so let me put this in perspective for you (because I am super excited about it). The Bolder Boulder is a 10K race that takes place every Memorial Day. It's obviously in Boulder and it takes place in the heart of downtown, in the heart of all the residential and all around. It is the 5th largest road race in the world and the largest in the US (of timed runners), there were over 56,000 runners!!!! Apparently the course itself is one of the most difficult (ps nobody told us that when we signed up, LOL:). It was TOTALLY a God thing because Chris came home Thursday night and after chatting we both decided to do it? Ummm what??:) I woke up Friday morning at about 5:30ish; sort of panicked and sort of excited and decided to go running because apparently 48 hours from then I would be running in a 10K:)LOL! So there we were 2 days later and off we went! Chris had been training for awhile and had some goals in mind and honestly he is in amazing shape right now (he did it in 55 minutes; seriously I know!:)

And then there's me whom shall we just say had not been training; LOL!!

I Hadn't run consistently at least since October (before our failed transfer)

and here I was staring at a 10K (6.2 miles) in the face and I ran it in.....

Drumroll please because I even amazed myself....

1hour 9minutes (69 minutes)!!!!!!!!!

Not by my own strength but His! I'm telling you I had been praying consistently for the Lord to fill me with courage, discipline and strength to begin to take care of myself and to challenge myself, well I defintiely did that and felt GREAT!!!! Ok well let me not exaggerate that I did not feel GREAT after the race. Chris & I could barely keep our eyes open the rest of the day. Did everything we could not to fall asleep and failed miserably and were in bed by 8pm with Emma Grace but WE DID IT!!!

I know the picture is tiny I took it off their photo site because we didn't have a camera that day but that's me bottom right corner wearing blue!!!! yay!!

I know it's super tiny and I know you can't see me but I'm the blue dot on the far right, 1st row ready to start. I thought it would be cool for you guys to see the sea of people behind me!! Crazy! And my wave took off at 8:59am the first wave took off at 7am I think and there were still many more waves after me.... 56,000 people the energy was CRAZY nuts!!

I pray that in the midst of your daily struggles, daily frustrations and daily grinds that you can Find His JOY! Rest in His JOY! and Enjoy His JOY!

It is pretty awesome!

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

A new chapter!?!

Going back to a blog post a couple of weeks ago just stating that I had been wanting to post but just not quite knowing how or what. I basically have been trying to clearly define where I am. I still feel absolutely 100% in the same "season or storm" BUT definitely beginning a new chapter of it. So here is my best definition:

"I am beginning to cautiously rest in the idea of a rebuilding season instead of a painful and constantly stormy season"

I wrote that at the beginning of May, a couple of weeks after my cry for prayer. I feel like after that specific storm calmed down a different storm would rain down and then a different one and a different one and that went on for a few weeks; then mother's day/ emma grace's birthday it has been a whirlwind month or so of trying to "cautiously rest" in this new season, this new chapter!

I can honestly say that it's as if my life was hit by a tornado and the actual tornado and wreckage lasted 6 months or so and now I am in the process of piecing it all back together. And honestly if you ever talk to an actual tornado survivor I'm sure we'd here that the rebuilding is of course better than the actual tornado; better in the sense of you survived it! you're alive! you're blessed with what little or lot you have left BUT it's still difficult & devastating to look back and remember what you lost and how close you came to not surviving.

I am blessed everyday by my life. I am excited to see all that God has in store for this family and feel privileged to have gone through the "tornado" because I do feel stronger for it. I feel empowered and strengthened by the Holy Spirit and feel a deep down unexplainable peace & joy that was not there before. So as I begin to walk through the debris of rebuilding and begin to cautiously rest in this new chapter I will continue to share with you what the Lord shares with me!

Keep praying and seriously thanks for reading! Please let me know you were here or that you read this because it is my heart and I would love to know who I'm sharing it with;) Thanks!

Birthday Party!... Finally!

Well it was a successful "do over" birthday party for my gorgeous baby girl! We ended up doing it this morning; sort of like a glorified playdate:). Honestly it ended up being fantastic. We actually had a better turnout than we would have had Saturday morning, crazy how God works things out just perfectly. Anyway here are some pictures from our birthday party this morning for Emma Grace! She had a fantastic time and she's actually just waking up so I have to run but hopefully you'll enjoy!

It was ALL things train "choo choo" this year!

(ps try finding pink train stuff; yikes!!:)

Her new favorite color is yellow (Lolo as she calls it:) and I think it's becuase she likes to say it! So it was great that we happened to have this yellow tutu already; worked out perfect!! yay:)

Eyeing the cake....

I could just tell she wanted to stick her little fingers in it:)!

Busted:):)!!LOL

Found amazingly cute pink train stuff on etsy!

Cutest pink train cake ever:)!!

Rmbr those cookies she was decorating for all her friends....

Well everyone left with one:)!

Pictures of birthday week so far (explanation below)

Enjoying the museum

Red Robin birthday lunch!



Look what mommy & daddy got me for my 2nd birthday!!








decorating cookies for all my friends to take home at my birthday party!

So proud of my work!!

I might have eaten some while decorating!:)

Finally I get to blow out a candle & eat a cupcake!!

Grandma & Grandpa bought me a chuggington sticker book!!

Morning of my birthday party; feeling much better but not great so grandparents came over to give me hugs & of course more gifts! Still in my pj's and finally breaking my fever:(!!

Unwrapping more gifts of course...

coolest bubble maker EVER (Thank you Haas's)

I don't care how sick I am I have to see how this works!:)

I am never leaving this tent!!

Pictures from my actual birthday coming soon!!