So as some of you know one of the events that rocked this season of life was our attempt at trying to get pregnant again. In October; we were able to transfer 2 beautiful embryos (after losing 4 to an unsuccessful thaw) and came out not pregnant. I grieve everyday for my 6 beautiful babies that are in heaven with the Lord and not here with me BUT there is a part of me that can see now that it just wasn't the right timing to be pregnant, or to be bringing more babies into our "season".... that doesn't of course change the hurt or the pain or the lack of control about why Lord? Why couldn't we have made it work regardless of what our season is? Those beautiful embryos especially the 2 that were transferred and already in my belly just waiting for life, why not Lord? So now comes the WAITING!!! Waiting on the Lord's timing for if/when the next attempt will be. I have absolutely no control over where I am in life, no control over much of anything but I know that the Lord knows and he sees the bigger picture; 1 month or 1 year down the road but WOW it is so hard for me to be patient and wait!...
I have been really learning and being challenged to live in the now. Enjoy the now, embrace the now, appreciate the blessings of now and I'm telling you it changes my daily life and my outlook on life. It truly helps to live in the present and enjoy the large & small moments that life has to offer everyday. It's hard for my personality not to plan 2, 3, even 4 years into the future but for now we are a family of three with a gorgeous daughter who lights up my life everyday!! I challenge you to live in the now! In our culture and in this day in age it is super difficult to not compare, not wish for future. With all of our phones and facebook, etc... it's a wonder we can live in the now for 2 seconds. We're always focused on something else other than right at this moment. So there's my challenge of the day:) I hope & pray that you can enjoy your "now", your "right at this moment". Just think of how sweet it would be to not worry about tomorrow but to enjoy today!
I was thinking... so my posts aren't always deep and somber I'm posting some pics of Emma Grace; she's capable of putting a smile on anyones face:) enjoy!
3 comments:
The pics are extra cute!
I really admire your transparency, Sabrina. I didn't know about the past several months' events; now I can pray specifically for you! Love you guys.
you're sweet katie thanks... I would love your prayers!
The "now" is so hard to learn to live in and most of us never really have to. I have only learned to live in the "now" because the "next" might be worse. I have to tell you... living this way bring so much freedom to enjoy small and beautiful moments I used to miss!! Prayers for you and your beautiful family. I'm glad God has all of you in his hands. I pray that He gives you the true desires of your heart
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